Regrets

I had two rules in my life.

1. Never do anything which you will regret.

2. If you do anything do not regret. Try to come with solution or just forget if you can’t make that right.

But this is life it does not go as rules, and humans cannot completely control their emotions they just feel them. So, I regretted. Regretted over and over. Everytime regretted the past behaviour. I thought we lost someone when they left this world. When they die. But no there are many ways you lost someone. And I feel that when I see my father.

My father, courageous, hard worker, problem solver and great story teller. He used to remember each and every detail. Foundation of our home. Used to bear all weight on him.

Suddenly a day he got stroke. Got paralyzed and I found the news about him. I did understand on that time what I had lost. But I lost my independent father that day. I regretted that I did not spent much time with holding his hand and walking with him.

He started to get irritated. Started to get angry. He was frustrated. He started to lose his confidence and hope. I regretted to not be able to give him ounce of confidence. I saw he was losing his courage.

He started again with us to fight back, learnt again to depend on us. Started to do physiotherapy. He again started to walk not completely normal. But with support. He again started to talk but he doesn’t have many story left. He started to laugh again. And I felt to get my father back not completely but yes got back. I regret to not cherish those moments with him, not sitting beside him and listening him. Not walking with him.

Then everything was becoming normal for us. Because this was the new normal. Then father had his second stroke. Hospitalized, not able to recognise anyone. Not able to remember anything completely. His speech became slurry. Now I got confused how to talk to him what to talk to him. I regret to not being around him when he can recognise me when I could have understood him. I lost my father who has extraordinary memory.

He was getting better started to get his memory functionality back. But got an injury accidentally. He talked to me about the whole accident. And I listened him, it was the longest talk he had with me in 5 years. He talked about the whole incident in detail. And I felt I have my father with me who used to tell me stories.I worried also but I felt happy to talk to him. I regretted to not able to listen his every other stories.

Then he got COVID hospitalized again. I came back saw him. He lost his body mass, muscles. and his consciousness. We need to instruct him to eat but he does not follow. We dissolved his medicine in water and fed him. Now cannot understand him. What he wants. Sometimes he asks for death. But death does not come. I think what is easy now. I don’t get confidence to pray for his recovery, and cannot think about losing him. Now his presence in my life is not that big. I come in holidays. Watch him hold his hands try to understand his slurry speech and guess what he is thinking.See the marks in his body which is developing due to less blood circulation. Marks on his body by his nails. Try to take care of him. Now he is my father. He is the same person difficult to imagine but he is. I regret to not understand before. But I think it’s not that late i still have time with my father. I will not try to not regret now and be with my dad as much as I can.

Why Do We Need Occupation?

After working for 2 years and 8 months in an IT industry, I have learnt many things technical and behavioural, experienced many incidents. Started to see the world and words from different point of view, and today I want to share some of my thoughts and experience on occupation or career.

There are many career coaches around us, you can find multiple career guidance over the internet. It is possible they can guide you better. But what I want to share here, it is not so common.

So lets talk on two basic questions about career:-

  1. What career gives you? What is so important about your occupation? Why you need a career?
  2. From whom you should take advice about your potential occupation?

If I say honestly, every person has a different answer for these two questions, and it should be like that because everyone is different, they have different skills and different needs.

I will try to answer these questions from what I have experienced and observed around me.

  1. What career gives you? What is so important about your occupation? Why you need a career?

Answers can be 1.Survival, 2. Luxury, 3. Self-dependence, 4. Passion , and can be other reasons as well.

  1. Survival:- When we are struggling for our financial security and in urgent need of money to fulfill our basic needs. We need an occupation in less time to support ourselves and persons whom are dependent on us.
  2. Luxury:- When we have enough to fulfill our basic needs but we want a better life style more comforting one, and a job or business gives you extra money to get whatever you wish to get.
  3. Self-Dependence:- If any person does not want to financially depend on his/her parents/guardian, They decide to go for job to take responsibility of own. Job does not only help you in gaining money, but it helps you in gaining respect as well in this society, yes.
  4. Passion:- And we have some gems in this world who found their passion and go for that.

There is no wrong choices here your job, your career your wish , You are the only one who defines your success and your reasons.

2. From whom you should take advice about your potential occupation?

When I was in engineering, and we were preparing for our campus placement an interviews. I have received many advices from my professors, relatives, neighbours and some of friends. I think if I want to divide those advises in categories that will be Government Job(Job Security) Team and IT Job(Higher pay) Team. There were a few who really talked about work environment, skill development and personality growth.

After receiving hundreds of suggestions I was totally confused, What should I choose? What should I prepare for? Because Government job and IT industry demands a different sets of skills. First of all I started to avoid taking suggestions because that was not working for me. I had started to read different articles on career advices but not many was really helpful for me. Then I started to think about my situation and started to analyse my skills and potential. Because I was in the urgent need of Job, There was no option of waiting for me.

After understanding my needs and me, now I started to find adviser who can advise me according to that. After that I have found a lot of help from those advices, which I have taken from the persons who were already on that career, or they wanted to pursue that or they have experience on that and whom I can relate with. I really wanted to thanks to them to helping me in the life.

So just wanted to tell you guys you should understand your personality and situation. Find the advisers who can really help you. Then keep your feet on the steps of career. Do your best in your jobs.

Treasure of Friendship

There were two close friends,Neha and Kriti. They used to share everything with each other. There were no secrets between them.They were best friends…soul sisters.

Neha and Kriti got jobs in the same company, though in different locations. They got separated. Both started to focus on their work. Each made new friends at their workplaces. Neha was content in her new and hardly missed Kriti. Kriti, though busy with her new life, missed Neha a lot.

Kriti sent messages to Neha everyday, but Neha after a point,started ignoring them. She replied one or two messages very late and rarely attended to calls from Kriti. This upset Kriti quite a lot. Eventually,  Kriti stopped messaging Neha. Neha did not even notice it.  

Uttam stepped into Neha’s life. He was handsome,understanding, and intelligent. They soon became friends and exchange numbers. Neha was attracted to him but held her emotions in check.Uttam sent a greeting everyday, but she kept from replying.

One day she finally greeted him back. Then conversations started and they started hanging out.Neha was so nervous inside but kept a confident front. Feeling started developing between them. They hung out quite frequently.

One day Neha suddenly thought about Kriti and decided to meet her.Uttam dropped Neha at Kriti’s place.

Neha introduced Uttam as a friend to Kriti. Kriti was very excited and happy to see Neha. Uttam went back home.

While conversing, Kriti asked Neha about Uttam.She vaguely mentioned that he was a friend and brushed the topic aside. They caught up on all the past months and were having a pleasant time. However, Kriti couldn’t get Uttam off her mind. She hesitantly asked again,

“Is anything going on between you two?”

Neha answered “No,I told you, he is only a friend. What makes you think otherwise?”

Kriti felt that Neha is lying but she looked at Neha and said honestly :

“I believe you, girl. Forget I asked. I know you would never lie to me.”

Neha was taken aback at Kriti’s trust and was filled with guilt.

Sometimes, while chasing behind potential dreams, we lose the important people in our lives.

Stop going behind temporary relationships.
Hold the person who care for you and love you selflessly,because they are rare.

Everyone Has their own story

People were travelling in the train.That was a normal journey. Youngsters were busy on their mobile phones, ladies were talking, kids were playing, etc., like in every train journey. Suddenly, the train stopped on a station and two people entered one of the train coaches. It was a middle aged man with a 19-year old boy. They were father and son. When the boy entered, he was very excited, full of energy, and he was asking his father “Please daddy, I want the window seat.” He was so happy to get the window seat. He was watching the scenery outside and telling his father –

“Daddy Look, trees are going behind “

“Buildings are moving behind”

He was talking like a innocent kid.

Noticing this, the other travellers were surprised. They were wondering ‘Why is a teenager acting like a child?’.

One of them told the boy’s father : ” I can suggest a Doctor who can help your son”

Father Replied: “We are coming from the Hospital now, My son was blind from birth.Today he got his eyesight.So he is seeing the world for the first Time.”

Sometimes we are in so hurry to judge. Remember everyone has their own story. Be patient, Listen to their story. Don’t make your creative stories by looking at anyone. Ask and you will got the wonderful story.

“If you are not judge no need to judge.Because Everyone has their own story. Maybe you are wrong”

रुक जा अभी लौट आ (Stop Just Come Back)

This poetry is for those, who knows the truth but they are prisoner of their addiction, unwillingly doing the work which is hurting to them and their loved ones. I wanna say still you have chance come back to those who loves you the most.

“Please Come Back”

क्यो तु इतना अधीर हो रहा है? Why are you so impatient?

उस प्यार को तु क्यों भूल रहा है? Why are you forgetting that love?

अपने कृत्य से उसे दुखी न कर, Do not make him sad by your actions,

जो तेरी खुशी के लिये मर रहा है । Who is dying for your happiness.

कुछ तो ख्याल रख, कुछ तो ईमान रख । Take some care , keep some faith.

उसके प्यार का तु कुछ तो सम्मान कर। Keep some respect of his love.

आजादी जो उसने दी है, The freedom that he has given,

गलत मत उठा उसका फायदा। Do not use as wrong.

जो तु उसे खो देगा, If you will lose it,

मरने का भी नही होगा तेरे पास रास्ता। You will not even have to die.

वक्त जानकर सम्भल जा, Know the value of this time,

रुक जा अभी लौट आ। Stop It Just Come Back.

अपना ले तु उस सच्चे प्यार को, Take your true love,

आज भी तुझे जो बुला रहा। Even today that love is calling you.

Copyright © Namrata Bagh 14 March 2019

I will not leave you ever

Once I had a confusion that I am alone, I was very sad because of my silly problems.I thought that no one ever understands me.I wanted a friend who will not leave me anytime.With whom I can share my all problems,with whom I can share my all thoughts.Then a very special person came to me and said “I will be always with you.”

“I will not leave you ever, I will not leave you ever.

Never, never, I will leave you never.Never, Never, I will leave you never.

Don’t be scared I will be there.Don’t be scared I will be there.

You are in trouble, whenever. You are in trouble, whenever

I will tell you what to do.I will tell you what to do.

Hold my hand and walk ever.Hold my hand and walk ever.”

Copyright Namrata Bagh 8 March 2019

Thousands of words

“Thousands of words, Thousands of feelings I want to share with you.

In every second, In every moment I want you thousand times.

In every second, In every moment I need you thousand times.

Thousands of words, Thousands of feelings I want to share with you.”